Thank God for Credit/No Credit

Its mid-term time here – which makes no sense as we have only 5 weeks left. Anyway, I have two stories of higher education. One where I feel like an idiot, and the other where I feel minimally intelligent for once this semester.
(Let’s start with me being getting called out in class….) I had two hours to write this art history midterm basically on the Renascence. Easy right? Did I mention I had to write it entirely in Italian? So I write like 1.5 pages of something that Im sure is contextually the equivalent of “See spot Run.” I’m using the dictionary the whole time and trying so hard to be careful with my grammar. Im mortified to have only turned in 1.5 pages, but I was also proud though cause the most Ive ever been asked to write before is like 150-200 word essays. Anyway, the next day our professor comes in with our graded midterms. “You all are such good students, you come to class, you clearly understand what were talking about, and I wanted to give you all A’s but…” he begins, “But YOU!” (He of course is looking at me) “You write only 1.5 pages in 2 hours! I know you are smart. I can tell from the little you did write that you are paying attention in class; but this…(he shakes his head and I mutter an apology and something about how it takes me a long time to write in Italian) So I decided, I’m giving you a B+ but ONLY ONLY if you promise me that you will amaze me in four weeks with our final oral exam. Do you promise?” (Yes I say; humiliated) “Ok, give me a high-five.” “Now the rest of you got A’s.” He looks at me again and shakes his finger and mutters. --All I can say is that it has been a while since I was the clear straggler in a class. It’s humbling, but not a lot of fun.
(Second Story) Ok so I think Ive mentioned before that Im also the one beginning Italian language student in my EU class and the professor constantly checks in on me to see if Im understanding everything…up to the point of embarrassment. In class I am the opposite of every adjective you might choose to describe me in the states. In other words I usually sit quietly with a perpetually confused look on my face. So on day he is talking about this concept about how capitalism slowly strips away at the concept of the individual and how this eventually leads to something resembling Communism. I was thinking about the book the 'Multitude' that I read in a government class last semester, and I guess the professor saw I was thinking (though probably just thought I was confused) and was like, “what? tell me?” So I told him his concept sounded a bit like the author Negri. Of course Negri is from Padova (which I knew) and as it turns out my professor knows his work well and the next thing I know the professor is beaming and 45 minutes of class is dedicated to the works and thoughts of Negri and the book he wrote entitled “Multitude”. Everyone else in the class was like, what is going on? He and I just had our own little conversation about aspects and concepts from the book. It was definitely the most Ive been able to contribute to the class the whole semester.

Im still really glad I picked this program and not some program taught in English. It is sometimes really hard and very intense, and I feel like Im constantly drowning in the mud in terms of the pecking order among the other students. I try not to be so hard on myself. I mean I only studied Italian a little over a year before coming here. Thankfully, my grades transfer back as pass/fail or credit/no credit. I’m gonna pass. I mean they may pass me out of pure pity, but they’ll pass me!
It’s hard sometimes for me to realize how much better my Italian is getting when my grades don’t reflect it at all, but sometimes Im reminded how much of it is clicking. For example, there was this story we were reading in my Italian class. I was having the hardest time going through it and I had to use the dictionary consistently. We took a pause for two weeks and then came back to it- and when I picked it up again, I was close to skimming the pages!